Well that was scary. Women (mothers in particular) talk about the maternal instinct. I never really felt like I had that instinct that was supposed to magically appear during pregnancy until last night. I started having regular contractions that were very painful and very consistent. I've been told that those are the signs of going into labor. Problem: I haven't reached full-term yet! And I was just in the hospital last week (I ask your patience for a post on that debacle at a later date) so I wasn't too excited to get back so quickly. I didn't feel ready. I couldn't describe why I didn't feel ready, I just didn't.
We tried everything we could think of before going to the hospital. We called the midwife, but she was in a delivery. We called the labor/delivery nurses but they can't give advice over the phone. After having contractions for well over an hour, we decided to get checked out at the hospital. My husband was so excited. He kept saying, "This is it, right?" But I had this feeling that the baby wasn't going to come, not yet. After a few hours of monitoring and tests (so a LOT of waiting) it was determined that the baby wasn't ready to come yet but that my contractions were regular enough that it was good we went in.
Why do I share this? Why was this scary? I'm a first-time mom. I have heard labor described and all the signs associated with it but I had never felt it before. Some women describe it as this beautiful experience while others say that it was the best birth control they ever received. I share this story because I discovered a little bit of my own "mom-tuition" last night. I didn't know exactly what I needed to do so my husband convinced me it was okay to go to the hospital to get checked out. With his support and the skill of the hospital staff who helped me, I was able to confirm my feeling that this baby isn't quite ready yet. While I don't know everything about how to deliver this child into the world, I know enough and have been given enough to make it so my child will make it in one piece. His life is not totally tied to my competence alone. It is also tied to the support of my husband, the knowledge of the nurses and midwives helping me, and our bodies natural, God-given ability to bring a new life into the world. For the first time since I've been pregnant, I saw a mother in the mirror, not just a pregnant woman.
I love this, Shavonne! It's called "emotional growth," & I just made the words up! giggle I think many of us mothers - eapecially first time mothers" - go in at least once before the baby is really ready. It's hard - you don't know what it's going to feel like when it's the real thing, & since you were having regular contractions, you did the right thing. Don't be afraid to listen you your own instincts. They will almost ALWAYS be right. Glad you have Mike as your "check-mate." I love that he's so excited. You will do great! Love you so much. Love, Granny
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