How Do You Grow?

So I had to write an autobiography for a class I'm taking online. After some consideration, I thought I'd share it with you. I hope you enjoy!

My Autobiography

            I am not one to say that I’ve overcome insurmountable obstacles in my life. In fact, I would probably say that my life has been as close to Hollywood perfect as humanly possible. I fell in love with the best friend I met while serving a mission. My parents married as high school sweethearts and are still in love with each other to this day. I have never known true hunger or homelessness and I’ve had the opportunity to attend a university that offers one of the best educations in the country. You might say that I began life with “living happily ever after” stamped in invisible ink on my forehead. Instead, I want to show how my blessed, always happy circumstances have made me the woman I am today.

            Growing up in the LDS community in a time where Disney shaped a little girl’s perception of Prince Charming, I didn’t worry too much about finding the “right guy” for me because I just figured he’d appear when he was ready. I had other plans anyway. I wanted to serve a mission and since women could only serve at 21 or older at the time, I saw no rush to get married. After the mission, that’s when the panic set in. I was beginning to feel like I was too old to date Provo boys anymore when an elder with whom I’d had the opportunity to serve came home from his mission. We were so glad that we could have a boy-girl friendship without marriage hanging over our heads because he was seeing someone and I was sort of seeing someone. One day it occurred to us that we could actually date each other! To make a long story short, we did date and we did get married. This choice has been a blessing in so many ways because we are different enough to have balance in our relationship, without being so different or so similar that we just feel at each other’s throats all the time. I have learned to be more patient and understanding of a differing point of view because I married this man.

            Speaking of marriage, my parents’ marriage has been another great life-molding blessing in my life. My mom and dad were high school sweethearts. It was a classic country boy falls in love with the new girl. When my dad went on his mission, my mom told him she wouldn’t wait for him but would happily pick things up if she was still available when he got home. Things just seemed to work after that. My parents’ example has taught me that marriage takes work but should be an enjoyable work. I have learned to love deeply and openly from them.

            My parents also taught me the role of the parent is to support and raise their child. I was raised in a home that always had heating or cooling (depending on the appropriate weather). I always had food to eat and clothes to wear. I may not have always worn clothes purchased for first time use or eaten gourmet meals, but I have always had more than enough to live. When I went to BYU, I didn’t have the money saved up to pay my own way for tuition and I didn’t have the grades for a scholarship. I didn’t even have the excuse of saving for a mission because I didn’t pay for that myself either. My parents paid my tuition until I was old enough to obtain grants. My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles all pitched in for my mission fund. From this, I learned to be a woman of generosity and to put my children’s needs above my own.

            Overall, my life has been comparatively easy. But it is through the blessings of home, parental example and overabundance of love from my spouse that I have become the woman that I am today. I am a woman of generosity, a woman of love and compassion, and a woman of patience. I have been truly blessed to have wonderful blessings to help me learn to be this woman I have become today. 

Update, Love, Growth, YAY!

Wow! This week has felt so incredibly busy, I don't even know where to begin or what to write about. Halloween is approaching which means now I'm starting to make my costume. I didn't realize just how much of a novice I am at sewing until it took me 3 hours just to decipher the instructions, pin the pattern to the fabric and cut it out without biting my tongue off. (Yep, I'm one of those people who sticks out their tongue while doing hard things. Just part of the charm!) I'm starting the actual sewing today so wish me luck! While waiting for the inevitable pictures to come, let me share my life lessons for the week.

Love and appreciation come in many forms. My husband has been wonderful about making sure we spend time just the two of us every day to check-in with each other and grow our own little family. He has also gone the extra 20 miles to treat me with all the pampering, love and respect any woman could dream of. We went out for family night (or for us, mini-date night) and while we were out, asked if there were any errands I wanted to run with him. Wherever we go, he makes sure his hand/arm is extended for me to grab so I don't feel like I have to walk alone. Wherever we drive, he makes sure to point out where we are in relation to areas he knows I've already become familiar with to help me learn the area quicker. When I break down and cry because I just can't be cheerful any more, he holds me close and whispers that everything will be okay. It's those times that I'm glad I married a man so much taller than myself so I can be totally enveloped in his arms. I know this is all cheesy and doesn't sound like much, but these little things have given me the strength to move forward with faith. His actions remind me that my Father in Heaven loves me.

Since moving into the house my husband grew up in, I've felt like more of an outsider than I ever did when we were just visiting. It's not anyone's fault. This is just a familiar place for everyone BUT me. I had some visitors the other day who kept asking about what was okay to do in my house and all I could think was, "I have no idea. This isn't my house." After a conversation with my mother-in-law and father-in-law, something clicked for me that gave me a lot of comfort. This may not be the house/home that my husband and I have built together, but our situation is still one that my husband and I build together. I may not be fully employed in running my own home right now, but I am fully employed in growing a baby, being a help meet to my husband, and being a light to those around me. This is a temporary situation with uncomfortable and hard facts, but it does not have to ruin the life my husband and I are building together.

Well, I hope that all made sense. Thank you for allowing me to share a little insight into my side of the changes going on in our lives.

Sometimes It's Hard

Sometimes it's hard to leave your bed. I wake up in the morning around the same time every day but it's been hard to motivate myself to get out of bed. I don't share this to garner more sympathy. Goodness knows I get enough of that just by being pregnant. I share this because I feel like feeling sad, unmotivated, or generally apathetic towards life is something that can be taken way out of context. Either these emotions are seen as definite signs of depression, or they are seen as signs of laziness. What about signs of being human? I doubt there is one person in this world who hasn't had, what I call, an apathy day. Those are the days when you have a lot of things that you could be doing, but what you end up actually doing is lying in bed until your own stink chases you out then doing your chores and counting down the hours until you get to go back to bed again.

It is also days like this that I have to remind myself of the truth of my situation. This is a temporary stop in my journey. Whether I'm living in my own place or living with family, it usually means I haven't been doing something for myself in a while. I was reading a blog post the other day from The Well Nourished Nest titled, "7 Habits of a Highly Happy Stay At Home Mom" where she talks about seven things all stay at home moms should do their best to keep in their routine. Now I'm not a stay at home mom yet, but I'm definitely training to be one. I have a unique circumstance where I get to discover and rediscover my hobbies and what being a stay at home means for me. So here's to new experiences and discovering my passion.

To give you an update on our lives in Vancouver, we've been doing really well. I, personally, have only had a couple of days that I felt were truly hard and those were the days that I didn't have much to do and no one to do nothing with. Those were the days where I felt helpless and pretty useless. One thing I'm learning about myself is I need to feel needed to feel comfortable. Right now, it's easy to feel like I'm just a growing baby factory where my body does all the work so my mind gets bored. I've been fighting this with extra time doing the things I love, like studying the scriptures in greater detail and playing the piano for more than just to practice hymns. I call my parents and siblings more often just to hear their voices and I send more "I love you" texts to my husband. These are the things that make me happy. Once we recover a little better from our move out here, I'll hopefully be able to get to a level where I feel comfortable cooking again too.

Well thanks for reading my rambling. Until next week!

Maternity Pants!

Moving across the country twice in one year is not an experience I would like to repeat. That being said, we've made it to our new home in Vancouver, WA. I apologize for missing last week but in the midst of packing, moving, prenatal care and ultrasounds, I just couldn't quite find the time.

Most women I've spoken to or read their blogs have talked about the woes of maternity clothing. "It is not flattering," I was told. Well what if I were to tell you that I am wearing a brand spanking new pair of maternity pants and I love them!? That's right, I love my maternity clothes! Why do I love them? Well, let me tell you.

My husband and I drove from our home in Atlanta, GA to our new temporary home in Vancouver, WA. The route we took means my husband drove 2,850 miles. I got to sleep in the passenger seat the whole way. While sitting, I had lots of time to ponder on just how uncomfortable normal clothes are. My t-shirts no longer fit my growing girth. My pants don't even fit when they're unbuttoned. Lately all I've been able to wear are maternity shirts I bought and basketball shorts or sweats. Now, I know that might sound heavenly to some, but it gets really old after a while for me. I actually like dressing up to look nice. And I hadn't been able to do that. So these pants are my way back into looking like a normal, functioning human being again. It's feeling hard to describe and share but one that is so great, you just gotta try anyway.

All in all, making the transition from skinny college student to well-rounded almost mother has been a bit of a body image shock for me. I suppose that is why the pants fitting me so well had such an effect on me. If there's one thing I've learned, it's okay to let little things like a new pair of pants boost your confidence. It helps when they make you look good too.

How Do You Move a New Family?

That is the question I've asked myself a lot this year, especially in regards to moving across several states. I knew it involved packing and cleaning but what else was there? I want to share a few of my insights from our previous and current move. Hopefully this will be helpful to you or someone you know.

Step 1: Figure out where you're going to live

It's hard to pack and plan for a move if you don't know the kind of space you're moving to. When we first moved to Georgia, I hadn't seen the size of our apartment or the types of storage that would be available. Because there wasn't really any storage area, half of our stuff remained in boxes. Now we're going to be moving into my in-laws' house so most of our stuff will be in storage (because they already have a fully functioning house with all the appliances, furniture and dishes a home needs).

Step 2: Organize and pack your stuff

This is why my husband ends up doing a lot of the packing. I have a very well camouflaged system that looks a lot like chaos and I'm pretty sure it drives him crazy. I have found, however, there really isn't one right way to pack and organize. Do whatever makes sense to you. After all, you're the one that has to unpack and reorganize once you reach your destination. Because most of our things are going into storage, we're trying really hard to organize based off of what we'll need for every day living and what can just be in storage for the time being.

Step 3: Breathe!

If you're anything like me, you'll need this to happen probably multiple times during the whole process. Take time to read a book, do your nails, wash your face or watch a quick episode of something on Netflix before diving into the next row of boxes. These don't have to be super long breaks, but breaks will help you feel more productive when you need to be. 

Step 4: Load the truck

Or pod, in our case. If you haven't heard of ABF's U-Pack program, you should really look into it. In a nutshell, you fill a ReloCube with your boxes and things and they drive it to your destination. You have the option of having the cube delivered to your door or you can go pick up your things from their loading/unloading site. Each cube is about 70"x 82"x 93" (DWH). You can reserve as many cubes as you want. The best part about this for us was the price. As my husband has just graduated and finished his internship and my part-time job doesn't really provide the income to cover cross-country moving expenses, we needed a very inexpensive option. 

Step 5: Get to your destination and unload

Now comes the part where you take all that hard work and undo it all! Unpack, put things away, settle in. I don't have many words on this step because I kind of just do it. 

There you go! How to move a new family in 5 simple steps. Now obviously it isn't complicated, but it does take some work to get it all done. Just remember to keep breathing and life will be great! One final piece of advice, if you're pregnant, moving is going to be harder. Just smile and call a neighbor or two to help.

The Hardest Part is Starting...

When I was in elementary school (somewhere around 1st or 3rd grade I believe), I had the opportunity to write and illustrate a book. While I decided then I would never be an illustrator, I did learn that I liked writing the story. So here I am, writing my story.

My mom told me that I should write a blog, you know, to relieve stress, share my experiences with this crazy changing part of life I'm in. My husband and I have been married for 1 year and 4 months. During that time we have lived in 3 apartments, accumulated more debt than I've ever seen in my life, and done at least one move across the country. I am now 18 weeks pregnant with our first child and we're about to move in with my in-laws while we get our own place to settle down, which means another cross-country move.

Fortunately, this next move will be a direct result of my husband finally getting his first full-time entry level position, complete with health and retirement benefits and the all-elusive experience! My intent in writing this blog is to share my experiences and coping methods for stress and anxiety as there is about to be a brand-new set of it in my life. I hope my experiences will help someone see how to cope with seemingly insurmountable challenges in life.